


Tell me I'm perfect (but tell me the truth)

by SquaresAreNotCircles



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, Magnus Bane is also just generally The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Alec Ever (tm), Sibling Bonding, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, illegal amounts of fluff i s2g, significant amounts of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14815256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquaresAreNotCircles/pseuds/SquaresAreNotCircles
Summary: “Totally whipped,” Jace says, even as he slings an arm over Alec’s shoulders to keep him steady on the way outside.“Like cream,” Alec sighs.Or: 5 times Alec tells his siblings how amazing Magnus is + 1 time Magnus finds out.





	Tell me I'm perfect (but tell me the truth)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want you can skip this paragraph, because it's probably not very interesting, but I need to vent for a moment because IT'S DONE. IT'S FINALLY DONE. This fic isn't even very long in the grand scheme of things, but it took me weeks to write and it feels like it's been _months_ , if not a full year. I lost count of how often I texted friends "this is going to be the day!! I can feel it!!!! TODAY I WILL FINISH THE FIC" and then... didn't finish the fic, because it's a sneaky little thing that refused to stay little (like the ~2-3k or so it was intended to be) and kept spiralling out of control in all kinds of directions. It made me THINK it was almost complete over and over again, but then it always turned out that no, no it wasn't, I probably wasn't even halfway really, and I was going to be writing this until the day I died (or until Christmas, surely, at least). That's not to say I didn't enjoy writing this story, because I swear I did, it's just that it also was one of the most frustrating experiences with words I've had in a while. 
> 
> Okay, so, immortalize complaints in fic notes: check. Thank you for indulging me (or skipping all of that, which is also valid and probably a smart move). This leaves us with just three other short orders of business: 
> 
> 1) The title of this fic is not mine, but taken from "Tell me", a very cool poem by Shel Silverstein.
> 
> 2) This fic is in no way a real AU, but it does kind of ignore everything that happened in season 3 so far. It's set in a happier world where things settled down a little after Valentine was defeated and where Lillith never showed up, so our main characters don't get killed/possessed/both on a daily basis anymore.
> 
> 3) Have fun reading!

1\. 

They’ve been training for nearly two hours, and it’s just Izzy and Jace on the floor now. Clary stopped for a water break ten minutes ago and Alec decided to join her, half because standing next to her silently and judging Izzy and Jace’s technique might benefit their tentative friendship, and half because he was done anyway. There were times when he would have continued pushing himself until he was called away for a mission or could barely walk back to his own room to collapse on his bed, but those days are gone. Now he makes smarter decisions.

Mostly because he has a date with Magnus tonight and he wants to keep his strength up for that, but the details aren’t important.

“They look so good,” Clary says, quietly impressed. It probably isn’t meant for Jace’s ears, but he hears anyway, judging by the sudden smirk on his face as he lunges for Izzy with his seraph blade. They’ve been sparring for half an hour and there’s still no winner – they’re both too good. That’s not what Clary meant, but it’s what interests Alec the most (even if he does have to admit that yes, they also look fucking amazing).

“Don’t stroke their egos,” Alec says, because he knows his siblings really don’t need it. His case is made for him immediately.

“Aw, Alec,” Izzy calls with a wild grin, while she makes Jace duck to avoid her whip lashing out, “let Clary talk.”

Clary shakes her head a little. Her ponytail bounces with it. “It’s just- Sometimes I’m still overwhelmed by the fact that your entire family looks like supermodels. It’s ridiculous. You guys make anything look good.”

Alec feels like rolling his eyes. He only doesn’t because Clary included him in her words, which catches him a little off guard.

Izzy and Jace, on the other hand, both grin even wider. “It’s a talent,” Jace says. He throws a wink Clary’s way, which is very Jace and very smooth, until Izzy takes advantage of his momentary distraction to curl the end of her whip around his ankle and pull. He goes down hard, landing flat on his back on the mat with a rush of breath leaving his body on impact. 

There was a time when Alec would have complained that this was a clear example of emotions making you weak, but now he just huffs and allows his amusement to show. “That’s an odd talent you have there.”

Jace is up on his feet again in a flash, but it was definitely a point for Izzy. They circle each other, and she snaps her whip at him a couple of times just to watch him jump. “And this is why I’m clearly the better-looking sibling,” she says, smug.

“Oh really?” Jace steps forward to attack under cover of his words, probably hoping to catch her unprepared, but they’re both very focused now. She dodges him easily and laughs.

“Yes, really.”

Jace frowns. His lips do something very close to a pout. “I don’t think you’re a fair judge of yourself. Let’s ask Clary.”

Clary makes a noise of protest. “I’m your girlfriend, Jace. That’s not much fairer.”

“So you’re saying it’s unfair because there’s no chance Izzy would win?”

Izzy and Clary exchange a look over Jace’s shoulder. “I’m not sure you want me to answer that,” Clary replies, sounding very earnest, but not looking it at all. It’s one of those moments where Alec is suddenly convinced she’s perfect for his brother, because she already knows how not to put up with his shit.

“Hey,” Jace protests, but he’s laughing, too. This time, when Izzy snaps her whip at him, he manages to deflect it with his knife. It’s a testament to the magical qualities of their weapons that neither is damaged.

“We need a different judge,” Izzy says.

Jace nods, and Alec is suddenly very aware he’s the only other person in the room. He can sense what’s coming, and he’s not amused. 

“Alec,” Jace predictably starts, “tell us. Which of us looks better in a fight?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Oh, come on, brother dear,” Izzy pleads. “You’re our only hope.”

“Star Wars?” Clary asks.

Isabelle smiles at Jace because she can’t afford to take her eyes off of him this time, but it’s clearly meant for Clary – or maybe for someone who isn’t even in the Institute. “I’ve been hanging with Simon a lot lately.”

Alec has no idea what they’re talking about and frankly doesn’t care. He shakes his head. “Ask him, then.”

“He’s not here,” Jace says, more sensibly than Alec likes at the moment. “Just settle this for us, Alec. As my parabatai you’re obligated to help me out here. Who looks best in a fight?”

Alec crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Magnus,” he says, not even really meaning to. He’s just so done with them. “Obviously. His magic is amazing. He could easily take all of you in battle and would still look better than you all combined.”

There’s a silence, in which Izzy and Jace seem to come to a wordless understanding to finally lower their weapons so they’re both free to turn his way and stare at him. He can feel Clary look at him from his left.

He shrugs at all the eyes on him. He’s far too stubborn to back down now. “It’s true and you know it.”

“Well,” Izzy sighs, wrapping her whip around her arm so it turns back into a bracelet, “he has a point.”

Jace sheathes his blade. “I mean, it’s not even my area of expertise, but I suppose I can see why you think that. The way he does his warlock thing is kind of fascinating.”

Clary nudges Alec, and it’s a sign of how far they’ve come that he doesn’t scowl at her. “I think you’re right, actually. Magnus is the obvious answer.”

“Clearly,” he says, and he tries for a little scathing, but it comes out a lot softer than expected. He can’t quite fight a smile.

-

2.

They’ve been in the Institute all morning, doing research for a case, and Jace seems to be going a little stir crazy. Alec forces both of them to push through until noon, despite Jace’s ever more dramatic sighs, but then he can’t take it anymore. He suggests they take a break and step out for an early lunch. Jace almost topples his chair with how quickly he jumps up, and says he’ll get Clary and they can meet in the main hall. Alec goes to find Izzy, whose demon hunt from yesterday ran well into the night, so she’s probably still in her room.

He knocks on her door softly. If she’s still asleep, he’ll let her be. 

“Come in,” her voice comes from inside, settling that issue.

When he enters, she’s at her vanity, putting what he assumes is foundation on her face. “Good morning. Up so early?” he says, because he’s her big brother and he’s pretty sure that means he’s contractually obligated to tease her, even if he thinks she totally deserved to sleep in. 

She smiles at him in a way that that’s more fond than anything else. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Jace, Clary and I are about to get lunch. Want to come with?” 

“Sure,” she says. “Just give me a minute to finish up.”

He nods. She turns back to her reflection, so he lets his gaze wander around the room. It’s neat. Not as perfect as Jace’s, but a lot better than his own, especially now that he hardly has any need to clean because he barely sleeps there anymore. 

He realizes Izzy will probably need more than a minute and takes a seat on the bed, which is already made. He watches his sister in the mirror as she tweaks the shape of her brows with a black pencil and then starts on her eyes, using different eyeshadows, applying eyeliner with a steady hand and subjecting her lashes to a tool he knows is an eyelash curler, but that still looks a lot more like a torture weapon to him. He’s a little relieved when she moves on to mascara.

“Is it hard?” he blurts out.

Izzy looks at him questioningly in the mirror. “What?”

“The, uh.” He waves a hand around to encompass her vanity and everything on it. “The makeup thing.”

She giggles, but leans closer to her reflection again to resume the careful application of mascara to her lashes. “I’d be glad to give you some pointers if you like, but since when are you interested in makeup?”

“I’m not,” he says, and then surprises himself by realizing he might have spoken too quickly. Regardless, that’s a thought for later. “But Magnus is really good at it, right?”

“The best,” Izzy says immediately. “He’s a lot better than I am, and I’m pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.”

Alec looks at his own hands so he won’t have to watch her face. He knows it’s no big deal and Izzy wants him to talk about these kinds of things, but he still feels a little awkward when it’s more about his feelings and how much he likes Magnus than about how amazing Magnus objectively is. 

It comes out in a rush. “He always dresses so well, and it’s great and I love it and I appreciate how much effort he puts into it, but then there’s his makeup and I just- He’s beautiful without it, but sometimes he tries something new and I literally forget to breathe. It’s so impressive, you know? It’s so _hot_.” 

He’s not sure what he expects when he looks up – gentle teasing, probably (which would be fair, as revenge for earlier). He definitely doesn’t expect for Izzy to have turned around on her stool and be looking at him like he’s brought her very close to happy tears. He has a moment to wonder if her mascara is waterproof. It’s something Magnus told him about a while ago, which he’d never considered before.

“What?” he asks, eventually, when it almost becomes too much.

“You know how incredibly proud I am of you, right?”

“I-” He has to stop, swallow, and start again. “Yes, Izzy. You’ve told me repeatedly.”

She smiles like he just said the best thing. She apparently finished her routine while he wasn’t looking, because her lips are a deep red now. “I’m just so glad Magnus exists. Not as glad as you are, clearly, but still.”

He’s pretty sure she expects him to start fumbling his words even more, but he can only incline his head at this, conceding her point. It’s a thought he’s had often and he can see no reason so be shy about it. The world deserves to know how amazing Magnus is, so he’ll keep reminding it, if necessary.

There’s a knock at the door and Clary sticks her head inside. “Hi! You guys ready? Jace says he’s too hungry to wait and he’s leaving without us if we don’t come right now.”

“Maybe we should stay here a little longer, then,” Alec deadpans.

Izzy jumps up and offers him her hand to drag him up from the bed. “We all know you could talk about Magnus for hours, brother, but I think we need some food.”

“Maybe we should see if Magnus has time to meet us there,” Clary suggests.

Alec really is starting to like her a lot, he realizes, as he lets go of Izzy’s hand to compose a text message. “I can ask,” he says, while he’s already typing.

He follows the girls out of the room blindly, which is easier than it sounds, because he has Izzy’s bright laughter to guide him.

-

3.

It’s been a while since a mission has taken them to Pandemonium. Alec hasn’t exactly missed it. This is Magnus’s crowd – figuratively and literally, as he owns the club – but it’s never been his thing. Even less so when he’s alone. 

He sticks close to the bar, nursing his cocktail, scanning the mass of people for signs of where their shapeshifting demon went. He’s having flashbacks to a night a lot like this, with a mission a lot like this, almost a year ago now. The difference that sticks out to him the most is that Magnus isn’t here this time. It had been their first meeting, technically, even if they hadn’t exchanged a word back then.

Clary and Jace disappeared a while ago, ostensibly to secure the perimeter, but Alec wouldn’t be surprised if they were making out in an alley out back. He’s only a little annoyed, which is much better than he would have felt about it a year ago. Izzy is out on the dancefloor, trying a more hands-on tactic to finding their demon – literally, Alec thinks, as he sees her move with a fluid grace almost chest to chest with a total stranger. He commits the guy’s face and dark, slicked-back hair to memory in case Izzy has identified him as their target.

Alec is getting close to the bottom of his glass when Izzy joins him at the bar. “How’s it going, hermano?”

“I don’t have anything,” he admits. “You?”

“Not with regards to the mission,” she says. “But I _am_ having a lot of fun.”

“That’s not what we came here for.” It’s not really a reprimand, especially because Izzy has caught the attention of their bartender and is thoughtful enough to order a refill for him while she’s got it. It’s more of a statement of fact.

“I know,” she says, when they’ve both got a fresh glass in front of them. “But there’s little harm in it, as long as we’re not finding anything anyway. I’m starting to think our supposed lead was dead end and he isn’t here at all.”

Alec sighs so deeply it moves the little umbrella in his glass. “Me too.”

“Well then.” Izzy turns to him fully and grins at him. “Come dance with me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I feel so guilty leaving you here on your own all night.”

“I’m not on my own,” he says, even though he is, despite the almost suffocatingly large number of people around him. He doesn’t know any of these people and doesn’t want to. “Actually, if we’re done here, I might go home.”

“To the Institute or to Magnus?”

Alec’s skin is already very hot in the crowded space, but the thought that Izzy recognizes Magnus as home for Alec (not even the loft, just _Magnus_ ) fills his insides with a different kind of warmth. “Magnus,” he admits.

All fuzzy feelings, however, are dispelled very quickly when Izzy makes the conversation take a different turn. “I bet Magnus would be disappointed if he heard you had been to his club and didn’t even try to dance.”

“He wouldn’t.” Alec is confident about this. “He knows I have two left feet. He tried to teach me once.”

“Oh my God!” Izzy looks delighted. “That must have been a train wreck.”

He rolls his eyes at how quickly she went from trying to convince him to come dance with her to openly laughing at his lack of skills. “Only my side of it.”

“Come on, Magnus can’t have been very good either, with you as a partner.”

“Excuse you,” he says, because he might be feeling a pleasant buzz from the cocktails that’s loosening his tongue a little. “I’ll have you know Magnus is a _great_ dancer and he could do anything.”

“Except teach you, apparently.”

“That’s on me, not on him. He trusts you, Izzy. He doesn’t deserve this kind of slander in his own club.”

“You should ask him for a lap dance sometime,” Izzy suggests innocently, hiding behind her cocktail glass.

Alec blinks a couple of times. The mere thought makes his brain short-circuit and he needs a moment to reboot. “Huh,” he says, considering.

“I’ll let you ponder that for a while.” Izzy is half laughing as she sets her empty glass down on the bar, but he can’t be insulted because he barely even registers it. “I’m going back on the floor, but I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun with Magnus.”

She touches his arm as she slips away, and he thinks he utters a goodbye, but he later can’t remember exactly if he did or not. He stays a while longer, until he’s emptied his own glass and has remembered how thinking works, and then vacates his own seat. 

The night air is cool on his skin when he steps outside, but it’s fine. Home isn’t far. 

-

4.

Being Head of Institute comes with a mountain of paperwork. There’s supplies to be ordered, requests to be evaluated, personnel reports to be read, and an awkward and often tense correspondence with the Clave to be kept up, among many other things. Alec doesn’t mind all that much. He’d been doing a lot of this stuff anyway even before he was promoted, back when his parents were still in charge officially, and it’s nice to at least have the actual title and authority that make all of the dry reading and writing and sighing over wrongly filed forms worth it. 

Still, valid reasons to take a break are always appreciated. He’d been with Izzy, Clary and Jace on a hunt for the past two days, and he’s only slowly getting through everything he’d missed in just that short period of time, so he only realizes he’s missed lunch completely when Jace taps his foot against the open office door. He enters, carrying a tray with two glasses and a plate stacked with sandwiches.

“Hey there,” Jace says, putting the tray down in front of Alec, right on top of Underhill’s latest security report. “Magnus just texted me to tell me I should bring you food.”

Alec becomes aware he’s still holding his pen, as if he’s planning to sign off on the sandwiches now that the report is effectively blocked from his view. He puts it down and looks from Jace to the tray and back again, brain a little sluggish after six hours straight of bureaucracy. “Magnus is in Paris today for a meeting,” he says, because it’s always a good idea to start with the facts he has and expand from there.

“Exactly.” Jace takes a chair that stands against the wall and drags it over to the desk. He sits down across from Alec and helps himself to one of the sandwiches. “Which is why he texted me, because he couldn’t force you to leave your office while stuck in a meeting in Europe. I figured I’d take the easy way out and just bring you something to eat, instead of trying to drag you all the way to the cafeteria.”

Alec sighs and rolls his shoulders. He pushes away from his desk a little, inspects the sandwiches, and decides they don’t look like Izzy had anything to do with them, so he takes one. “Thank you,” he says, after the first bite. “I’ve been pretty swamped.”

“I can tell.” Jace doesn’t even bother trying to talk between bites. He’s chewing even as he speaks. “Making you Head as my first action when I got that title? Best decision of my life, probably.”

Alec snorts, but he lets the hyperbole go. He’s more hungry than he had realized, so he’s very grateful for the surprise food. Jace could say pretty much anything and Alec would let him get away with it at the moment.

Of course, that’s when Jace decides to attack completely out of left field. He’s finished his first sandwich and is leaning back in his seat, content (which makes Alec suspect he’s actually already had lunch, because he wouldn’t just stop eating otherwise). 

“So is Magnus a good kisser?” Jace asks.

Alec very nearly chokes on a piece of lettuce. He manages to avoid spitting it out or dying, but this has the unfortunate consequence that he has to deal with whatever is happening here.

Jace is looking at him expectantly, as if he just asked a perfectly normal question.

“What,” Alec replies, utterly devoid of intonation. He doesn’t know if Jace said it to get him to blush, but if he did it’s not working, because Alec is not embarrassed so much as confused.

“I’ve been wondering,” Jace says, which doesn’t clear up anything at all. He sounds more earnest than Alec expected.

“You’ve been wondering,” Alec repeats slowly. “If my boyfriend.” He pauses there, just to replay Jace’s words in his head and check they still have the same meaning they seemed to have fifteen seconds ago. “Is a good kisser?”

“Not like, in a weird way.”

“You mean there is a not-weird way?”

“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t been thinking about what it would be like to kiss him, personally, but he’s been alive for centuries and he’s had lots of partners, so surely he must have had some time to perfect his technique. You seem to enjoy it.”

“I do,” Alec says, still unsure why they’re having this conversation. “But I don’t think that’s due to technique, necessarily. It has much more to do with finding the right person.”

Jace is grinning at him now, like he suddenly gets to tease him after bringing up this subject out of the blue. “You’re such a romantic.”

Alec feels a need to explain himself. He considers resisting it, so he doesn’t give Jace what he wants, but then he realizes it’s what he wants now too, so whatever. “I just mean that for me, it wouldn’t matter if he were the worst kisser ever, because I love him and that’s what makes it special.”

“Alec, if you were trying to make that sound less romantic, you failed.”

Alec gives his parabatai a _look_. “But yes, he’s also an amazing kisser and very skilled and probably better than you’ll ever be, judging by what I saw last time I walked in on Clary and you. He _has_ had a lot of practice and that’s great for me, because I get to enjoy the positives of that, and I _do_ , trust me. There’s this thing he does with his tongue that drives me wild every time because –”

“Okay!” Jace throws his hands up so fast he knocks an ugly metal paperweight that belongs to their parents from the desk, which clatters to the floor. To Alec’s delight, he looks a little flustered as he retrieves it. “I don’t think I actually wanted this much detail.”

“You asked.”

He’s sitting across from Alec again, arms crossed and a thoughtful expression on his face. “I did. I just never thought you’d actually answer, let alone volunteer any information.”

“You can’t blame me for that,” Alec points out, not sure where Jace is going with this.

Jace immediately starts shaking his head. “No, of course not. That would be ridiculous, because I’ve been telling you stuff like this for years about the girls I hooked up with. But it’s different, you know? You used to not even admit when you thought a guy looked cute, and these days you don’t even stutter when you’re telling me how much you love your boyfriend and how good he is in bed.”

“I never said -” Alec starts, but shuts his mouth when he Jace returns his pointed look from earlier. 

“I heard there was a thing he does with his tongue.”

“Yeah, alright,” Alec admits. It’s not like he has any reason to argue the point anyway.

“It’s nice.” Jace shrugs, and Alec wonders if he should point out that it sounds a lot like Jace just called Magnus’s blow job skills nice, but Jace seems to be working towards a point, so he bites his tongue. “You being like this, I mean. Magnus is good for you, and not just because he gets you to actually remember to eat something.”

“I could have told you that.”

“And you do. Pretty much constantly.”

Alec shrugs. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I know,” Jace says, and Alec feels a brief swell of humor-affection-relief through their parabatai bond. There’s happiness, but it’s distinct from how it feels when Jace defeats a demon or sees Clary smile. It’s happiness _for Alec_. 

“I know you do,” Alec says, and hopes Jace is just as aware of his response.

“Man,” Jace says, laughing, “this is getting sappy.”

“Still your fault,” Alec reminds him, as he finally takes a second sandwich, because the really heavy part seems to be over.

“Hey, I bring you food and this is how I get treated?” Jace is faking indignance, and everything is suddenly very normal again.

Alec raises his eyebrows, and for once decides he can allow himself to speak with a full mouth. If there’s anyone who can’t judge him for it, it’s Jace. “It is if you ask Clary to prepare it.”

Jace’s mouth drops open. It’s kind of hilarious. “How did you know?”

Alec carefully lifts the top layer of bread to reveal the lettuce, tomato and thinly sliced bell pepper underneath. “You would never put this many vegetables on them.”

“And it’s edible, so it wasn’t Izzy.”

“Exactly.”

“Dammit.” 

-

5.

It’s late. Alec isn’t sure how late, exactly, but it must be well past midnight. 

He’s kind of drunk. That’s another thing he’s estimating, but feeling pretty sure about.

He probably should have stopped after his second or third drink, but he’s feeling a little lonely. Izzy, Jace, Clary and Isabelle had been planning this night out for a while now, and they’d insisted he come along. It seemed like a good idea at the time, because Magnus is seeing some art exhibit with Catarina and Alec had been invited, but he didn’t want to interrupt their already scarce friendship bonding time. Catarina often has trouble finding babysitters, so they deserve a chance to catch up without Magnus having to divide his attention between his best friend who he rarely sees and his boyfriend, who he sees every day anyway.

So yeah, it had _seemed_ like a good idea not to go with Magnus. Sadly, in reality this means that he isn’t with Magnus, and it doesn’t help that the people he _is_ here with are paired up pretty nicely, leaving him feeling like a fifth wheel.

Third wheel? Is this idiom about a bike?

He’s keeping their booth occupied and trying to use his half-empty beer glass to divine some answer to this linguistic conundrum, the way Magnus sometimes uses tea leaves to predict small things for fun, when Izzy and Jace slide in opposite him. They must have left Clary and Simon behind somewhere, because they’re not here currently.

Alec is dimly aware he’d usually roll his eyes if he heard someone draw a conclusion that way.

“Hey,” Jace says. “Having fun?”

“Sure,” he lies. He doesn’t want to ruin this for them. It’s not their fault he’s a little pathetic.

His phone buzzes. He fumbles it a little as he tries to pick it up from the table, but far more embarrassing is how he immediately starts grinning when he sees it’s a text from Magnus. _Reminded me of you ;)_ it reads, under a picture of a marble sculpture that is probably not actually Michelangelo’s David, but at least looks a lot like him, to Alec’s untrained eye. Either way it’s a chiseled, very naked man.

_Maybe later tonight_ Alec shoots back, feeling giddy and a little daring.

He puts the phone back on the table upside down, because even drunk he has the good sense to avoid possible notifications about his sexting popping up for anyone who happens to glance at the screen to see. When he looks up, he’s grateful for his caution, because he finds both of his siblings watching him in amusement. They’ve probably taken notice of his current state of inebriation, which is not ideal, but also kind of their fault for dragging him out here in the first place. At least he has someone to blame.

“Penny for your thoughts, big brother,” Isabelle offers.

Alec sighs. He briefly considers lying, but he’s too pleasantly buzzed to bother. “Magnus.”

Jace lifts a couple of the glasses scattered on their table, checking to see if any of them still have a couple of drops left. None of them do, so eventually he just unapologetically takes Alec’s beer – Alec’s now empty hand drops to the table, but he’s half relieved he won’t have to finish the glass, so he doesn’t bother putting up a fight – and starts drinking it. “You’re not actually paying him for that, are you? Anyone here could have told you that.”

“How?” Alec asks, feeling a little alarmed at the thought of being that transparent, even after all this time, and even though he knows it’s fine.

Jace laughs, and it eases the lingering worry in Alec’s chest. “You’ve got that sappy look on your face. You’re so whipped, dude.”

Alec props his elbow up on the table and lets his head rest on his hand. “I am,” he admits, and it feels nice. It makes him feel light and happy, being able to talk about his boyfriend so openly. “Magnus is amazing. He’s so pretty I can’t stop staring, but he’s even prettier on the inside.” 

“Yeah?” Isabelle asks, and he’s not sure if it’s a prompt for him to keep talking, but he chooses to take it that way.

“Definitely. I love him so much, Iz. It makes me want to cry sometimes. His heart is just- just so good.”

“That’s really sweet,” Isabelle says, petting his free hand with a smile. He surreptitiously feels under his eyes to make sure he’s not actually crying, because her reaction reminds him of how she treats kittens.

“You’re giving me a toothache,” Jace says, but there’s no actual complaint in it.

Alec extracts his arm from under his own head to point at Jace. “You know I’m right. He let you stay with him even though he didn’t really like you, just to help me. And help you, who he didn’t even really like.”

“Did you have to mention that twice?”

“Yes.”

Jace grins a little around the beer, which he’s fast approaching the bottom of. “Well, it _is_ true that he made sure I didn’t have to sleep on the street, which was pretty cool of him.”

Alec is a little surprised Jace conceded his point so easily. “Right!” he says, and boops Jace’s nose, because it’s right there and so is his finger. Jace looks utterly dumbfounded for a moment and Izzy bursts out laughing, so Alec smiles. “Magnus often pretends he doesn’t care, but he does, so much. He’s so kind and sweet. He acts like he doesn’t give a shit but he gives so many shits. All the shits. He’s too good for this world. His heart, guys, it’s warm and fuzzy and gigantic.”

Izzy has calmed down a little when she answers, but she’s still grinning. “You would know.”

“Glittery, too?” Jace asks.

“Of course.” Alec nods vigorously to underscore his point, until all the nodding shakes another thought loose in his head. He leans over the table towards his siblings, as if letting them in on a secret. “I’m gonna marry him some day.”

Jace nods, probably mock-serious, but Alec doesn’t even care. “You’ve already kissed him at your own wedding once. Why not do it again without leaving Lydia at the altar this time?”

“Yeah,” Alec agrees easily. He knows he probably sounds like he’s just rambling drunkenly, without really knowing what he’s saying, but this is by far not the first time he’s thought about it. He wasn’t drunk any of the other times. He wrecks his brain for something to say that clarifies that he knows this is a big thing, and it’s something he’s thought about carefully. “I mean, if Magnus wants to,” is what he comes up with, which is not ideal, but it’s a fair point.

Izzy answers this time. “It’s an opportunity to force you to dress up and throw a huge party. Magnus would never say no to that.”

“I have met him,” Alec says, thinking back to Magnus’s response when he asked him to organize the party for Max’s rune ceremony. Izzy and Jace have no idea what he’s referencing, so as a joke it falls a little flat, but it’s a good memory. Nearly all of his memories with Magnus in them are good ones, because even when they’re fighting he would rather be with him than without.

“We know,” Izzy says, and she’s laughing again. 

“I said that out loud?”

Jace shakes his head. “Man, if you’re marrying Magnus, you really need to do something about how much of a lightweight you are.”

“Marriage?” Simon asks, as he slides into the booth in the empty space besides Alec. Opposite them, Clary squeezes in next to Jace. “There’s going to be a wedding?”

Alec pats his shoulder, because he’s feeling like a magnanimous drunk, and it felt nice when Izzy had petted his hand earlier. “Don’t worry. The vampire is invited this time.”

“Aw.” Simon grins, flashing his fangs at everyone at the table. He looks genuinely touched.

“Don’t buy your tux yet,” Jace warns.

“No, I did also hear the bit about how drunk Alec is,” Simon says. “But it’s just nice, right? Love. It puts a warm feeling in the chest.”

“The heart,” Alec agrees.

“Heart?” Clary asks, which makes Jace groan.

Izzy extends a warning hand over the table in Clary and Simon’s direction, but there’s still laughter in her voice when she speaks. “Don’t get him started again. We were just done talking about the size of a certain warlock’s heart.”

“Never done,” Alec mutters, mostly to himself, but he misjudges the volume needed for that.

“It’s getting late,” Clary says. “Maybe Alec can tell us about Magnus’s heart in the taxi home.”

“If he has to,” Jace quips, but at this point it feels like he’s just complaining for the form of it.

They all filter out of the booth a little more slowly than they usually would, because Alec is not the only one who’s had a decent amount to drink. He checks his phone as he gets up and is met with a text from Magnus is response to his last message. It’s a row of little hearts, and it makes him grin like mad.

“Totally whipped,” Jace says, even as he slings an arm over Alec’s shoulders to keep him steady on the way outside.

“Like cream,” Alec sighs, and suddenly he’s the one keeping Jace upright as Jace dissolves into actual giggles.

-

+1.

Alec is a little surprised at how often he’s been going to clubs lately. They’re back at Pandemonium, except this time everything is better: there’s no dead-end mission to be frustrated about, they’re seated in the VIP area and therefore shielded from the worst of the crowds, and Magnus is there. 

Really, just that would have been enough. Magnus’s arm is pressed up against Alec’s because they’re sitting unnecessarily close together on one of the low VIP couches. As far as PDA goes it’s a very, very small and innocent thing, but it still makes Alec feel like he actually wants to be here, instead of constantly wishing he’d chosen a quiet night in instead.

Alec has barely had any alcohol, and is going very slow with his first drink of the night, but he can feel Jace’s eyes on him when he puts the glass back down on the low table after taking a sip.

“You might want to watch how much you drink,” Jace says innocently.

Alec should probably know better, but he falls for it anyway. “Why?”

“Magnus is here this time, so if you start gushing about him again, he’ll hear you.”

“It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before,” Alec says, but he can still feel his ears go red. He can’t quite bring himself to look at Magnus, even when Magnus lets out a delighted sound.

“Aw, Alexander, you got drunk and couldn’t stop talking about me?”

“He doesn’t have to be drunk for that, believe me.”

Jace is a traitor and Alec decides that he hates him. He’s so busy glaring Jace’s direction that he almost doesn’t notice when Izzy joins forces against him.

“It’s true. He talks about you all the time, Magnus, and not just when he’s drinking.”

“Oh,” Jace sighs, clutching a hand to his chest. Alec realizes with horrified fascination that Jace is doing an impression of him. “His magic is so amazing. He could take every Shadowhunter ever in a fight and look sexy doing it.”

“He’s also a great dancer,” Izzy chimes in, holding her glass aloft and staring off in the distance, presumably for dramatic flair. Alec can’t help but think it’s more of an impression of Magnus than of himself. “And did I mention he could do literally anything?”

Jace nods gravely. “He’s also an amazing kisser.”

“And so pretty he takes my breath away!”

“But it doesn’t even matter how good his kisses are, because I love him and that’s why it’s so special.”

“Don’t forget he always dresses really sharp and his makeup is flawless and he’s really hot.”

“Guys,” Alec says, like he actually thinks that might make them stop. They just double down.

“And his heart!” Izzy yells. This time she waves he drink through the air with such animation that she spills a few drops, even though the glass was nearly empty already.

“His heart,” Jace wails. “It’s so good.”

“His heart is the best heart. What were the exact words, again? Warm and fuzzy and _gigantic_. I think that’s it.”

“With glitter. Don’t forget the glitter.”

“You suggested that,” Alec points out.

Jace shakes his head. “You agreed too quickly when I did.”

“Hey Alec, what are you thinking about?” Izzy asks, but he’s very clearly not talking to Alec.

“Magnus,” Jace says. “Duh. I’m completely whipped and will never stop smiling about it when I think people don’t see me.”

“Oh my,” Magnus breathes, which is when Alec finally looks at him. Magnus notices he’s being watched and also turns his head, and there’s something very soft in his eyes. It’s warm and gentle, but also vulnerable, which squeezes Alec’s heart to a point where it’s nearly painful how badly he wants to keep that piece of Magnus safe from harm.

“I’m going to get us another round,” Izzy announces. She seems to have dropped the act and sobered up a little.

Alec sees an opportunity and grabs it. “Good idea! Jace can help you.”

“He can?” Jace asks, even as Izzy is already wrapping her fingers around his wrist to drag him with her. This might have been her intention in the first place.

“Yes. I need you to stand there and look pretty while I’m doing the actual work.”

“Great. I’m very good at that.”

She flicks her hair over her shoulder, smirking. “Oh, don’t deceive yourself. I’m still the better-looking sibling.”

They disappear into the crowd still bickering. Alec is glad neither of them mentioned the fact that there is a dedicated server for the VIP area who could have brought them whatever they wanted, or that Magnus could have literally just snapped his fingers to spare them the trip.

There’s something of a silence once they’ve departed, with only the dull beat of the music as a constant background noise. Alec wonders if it feels as loaded to Magnus as it does to him.

“I hope they didn’t embarrass you,” he says, carefully.

But Alec’s worry seems to have been for nothing, because Magnus laughs, and it sounds a little startled, but entirely genuine. “Embarrass me? You’re the one who’s gone deliciously pink, Alexander.”

“I’m used to it.”

“Hmm,” Magnus says, and he sets his own glass aside to take one of Alec’s hands between his, tangling and untangling their fingers. He looks relaxed, but pensive, so Alec waits him out. After a moment, Magnus looks him in the eye again and smiles, just barely. “You know, you were right in that I’ve heard most of this before when you told me directly, but I never knew you were talking about me behind my back.”

“Does it bother you?” Alec is a little distracted by their hands, but not enough to keep him from frowning at this thought, which had never even entered his head when he’d told Izzy and Jace (and Clary and Simon, and other people, sometimes) all of these things. The knot of sudden worry in his chest only eases when Magnus shakes his head, no hesitation whatsoever. 

“Dear gods, no. Sing my praises as much as you like, as often as you like, darling.”

The corners of Alec’s mouth move upwards of their own accord. “That’s quite a lot, as you heard.”

“I’m completely fine with that.” Magnus watches at him in a way Alec recognizes. It’s the way he feels every time he looks at Magnus. Even after a little more than a year, it’s still a thrill to see it reflected back at him. “Saying sweet things to someone’s face is easy, but still saying all those things when I’m not in the room? That’s not something I’ve had people do for me often, in my very long life.”

Alec frowns. “It should be.” He may not be a relationship expert, but he knows this.

“Ideally,” Magnus agrees.

But it shouldn’t be an ideal, it should be an absolute minimum requirement. Alec thinks about how Magnus, one of the smartest people he knows (and that’s not even his personal bias speaking, it’s just fact), can say something that sounds so stupid to Alec. Then he thinks about Camille and people like her and his conviction to tell anyone within earshot how great Magnus is only grows.

He doesn’t tell Magnus any of this. Instead, something wildly different slips out.

“Hey, how do you feel about marriage?”

Magnus’s eyes widen, but he recovers quickly, as if it’s a question that’s a lot less awkwardly out of the blue than it feels to Alec. He bats his eyelashes at Alec ( _coy_ , Alec thinks, because by now he knows better than to label this cryptic) and visibly fights a smile. “That’s not a proposal, is it?”

“No,” Alec says, because it’s more important than flirting back. “You’d know if I was proposing.”

Magnus squeezes his hand where it’s still in Magnus’s own, resting on his lap. “Good. Because I’ve never been engaged before, so I’d like to be in the moment when it happens.”

Alec opens his mouth to reply – _when_ , echoes around his head, filling his heart fit to burst – but that’s when Jace and Izzy reappear, Clary and Simon in tow this time.

“I hope we’re not interrupting,” Jace says. “Did we come back to soon?”

“Not at all,” Magnus replies. Jace is lucky Magnus was quicker than Alec, because his answer would have been a little different. “In fact, let’s pick up our previous conversation where we left off.”

Alec thinks he should feel at least a little betrayed that Magnus was trying to go right back to the thing they’d established was far more embarrassing for Alec than for Magnus, but all he can muster up is an extremely mushy affection. It’s a sure sign he’s in deep, but it’s not like he didn’t know that already.

“What were you guys talking about?” Clary asks.

Izzy is the one who carried a tray with six drinks, doing all the work, like she said she would. She’s been distributing them to their owners, and when she picks up the last one and puts it in front of Alec, it’s the same cocktail with a little umbrella from that night they were here on a failed mission and talked about dancing. She adds a wink directed at him. “We were telling Magnus nice things Alec has said about him.”

“You were embarrassing Alec,” Simon concludes.

“No!” Jace gasps. “We would never.”

“Good. Because Alec is a good guy,” Simon says. For just a moment Alec is naive enough to think he’s actually taking Alec’s side for some reason, and he’s surprised and quite honestly a little confused, but not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Then Simon breaks out into a grin. “Did you know I’ve been pre-invited to your wedding, Magnus? No more ‘who invited the vampire’, because Alec did.”

Alec closes his eyes so he won’t have to face the world anymore.

It doesn’t really work, because he just knows Magnus has raised one elegant eyebrow, probably smirking with it. “Is that so?” 

He feels Magnus’s free hand land on his shoulder, soft, warm. He leans into it just the slightest bit.

“It is so,” Simon assures him.

“So,” Magnus starts, sounding far too casual not to be up to something. “Did I ever tell you guys about my boyfriend? He’s wonderful.” 

Alec’s eyes shoot open. They’re still holding hands, but Magnus isn’t looking at him, instead keeping eye contact with his audience. 

“Oh no,” Jace says, and suddenly he’s the one who sounds betrayed. Simon appears to be quietly choking on his drink, with Clary patting his back dutifully.

“I’m kind of crazy about him,” Magnus continues, pretending he’s oblivious to the havoc he’s wreaking. “He’s strong and handsome and always puts everyone’s needs before his own, like some kind of ridiculous fairy tale white night. He says the sweetest things, and he’s good with kids, and did I mention he’s so pretty you wouldn’t believe it? He only ever wears black and by all means it should be a disaster, but the only actually disastrous thing is that I can’t have my hands on him _all the time_.” 

“Jace, what have we done?” Izzy asks, but her lopsided smile kind of undercuts the severity of the words.

Jace shakes his head in disbelief. “We’ve created a monster.”

“With glitter,” Magnus says. “Don’t forget the glitter.”

_I love you_ Alec thinks, but he carefully files the euphoria and utter adoration away, to be shared at a later date. For now, he turns to Magnus and says, only partly succeeding in fighting his grin, “So tell me more about this boyfriend.”

Magnus doesn’t even try to tone down the way he beams at Alec. “Gladly.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it and please consider leaving a comment if you did, because they honestly make my day so much brighter. <3
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr as [itwoodbeprefect](itwoodbeprefect.tumblr.com), where I'm very much in need of people to talk to about Shadowhunters, because ohhh boy, it's been a while since a show got me this good.


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